A vice-regal anointment

Sydney Morning Herald

Friday April 1, 2011

Michael Idato

Michael Idato grabs his front-row seat for the Governor-General's fashion show. It's a tough life being a somebody trapped in a sea of nobodies. Or should that be the other way around? Indeed for those of us charged with pondering such weighty issues only one thing is certain: the more time you spend on Sydney's social treadmill, the more you realise how extraordinarily ordinary it can be.There isn't much that separates the establishment from the wannabes. Were you one of the Cointreau Fab 400? (Indeed do you even know what the Cointreau Fab 400 were?) Do you make the cut for Logies, or do you just have to make do with AFIs? Are you even in full-time employment? The answer to that last one will make your hair stand on end. I mean, seriously, how can so many people who don't hold down anything resembling an actual job think that they matter so much? Preposterous. (And perhaps a subject best left alone in a column written by someone whose job it is to write a column about people who go to A-list functions.)In fact there is only one thing that separates "us" from "them" and that is whether or not you're sitting in the front row when the Governor-General, There By The Grace of God, Her Vice-Regalness, Baroness Dame Colonel Quentin Dr Bryce, Commander-in-Chief of the Australian Vice-Regal IV and Commander of the Order of the Emu decides to throw open the heavy doors of Admiralty House and host a fashion show.We're talking Anna Wintour meets Winter of My Discontent. A fusion of power bobs and power boobs, circumglamorising a runway showing off 30 hot designers who are all using Australian wool. Only Baroness Dame Colonel Quentin Dr Bryce can blend the A-list with the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade and deliver something that would make Grace Coddington, a woman whose hair has looked like a bird's nest since the 1970s, turn the hot curlers to high.There aren't too many hot tickets in this town but there is no doubt Admiralty House is one of them. And there is nothing hotter than being a human handbag for the Baroness von Troska, VIP's very close celebrity galpal who, as you would expect for someone who is more establishment than a French roll on a Dutch duchess, is in constant demand. (As it was, Baroness Dame Colonel Quentin Dr Bryce's runway show was wedged between cocktails with the Monegasque ambassador and a jacuzzi with a group of high-profile Shanghai-based businessmen. Big night.)Perhaps the most intriguing thing about the show was its oval seating plan, which meant everyone had a front row seat. Not only was visibility at an all-time high, it even spared the room anything resembling those "I'm not sitting there" meltdowns that have become the order of the day when you're trying to herd C-list fashion identities into seats normally occupied by people of breeding. New York Fashion Week take note: Baroness Dame Colonel Quentin Dr Bryce isn't just a fabulous fashion plate, she's also solving life's big problems.